It’s Christmas- presents or presence?
The silly season is here. People getting stressed out about car parking, spending probably more money than necessary not to mention having more food and alcohol than the digestive system can actually take! We like to punish ourselves don’t we?!!
Listening to the radio the other week one of the callers was commenting on how annoying Christmas is because they have to spend time with family they don’t get along with. What struck me was that they said they hardly saw them during the year.
I wondered two things. Why did they “have to”? Why bother making a big deal about getting together on Christmas day with people you actually don’t want to be with, especially when you don’t even see them over the year?
Trying to get along by just getting together and giving presents on one particular day, like Christmas, isn’t going to make up for the lack of presence over the year.
The kind of quality presence of sharing time and space and getting to know one another, that could help the relationships develop and grow into something enjoyable.
I might be sounding cynical or perhaps challenging what Christmas has become, perhaps trying to remember what the spirit of Christmas is really about. It makes me stop and think because at this time of year there are people who are no longer able to spend time with their family, partner, or kids who they would dearly like to share the time with. For some reason or another, separation, soldiers overseas or blocks and obstacles of many sorts, are getting in the way. Even if they have a present for them, they can’t be present WITH THEM to give it to them.
So how about trying some P-R-E-S-E-N-C-E instead? Even if it’s 5 minutes on the phone, 10 minute skype time, 1 hour of contact time or a whole day of cramming in the Christmas spirit, see if you can make any of the elements of P-R-E-S-E-N-C-E, or all of them, work for you and who you’re hanging out with;
Playfulness: Keep it real. Kids love that especially
Remember: The value of having good friends and family in your life, even if only 1 or 2.
Enjoy: The simple things when sharing space with someone, nothing like making a genuine connection
Sincerity: In choosing who you hang out with, be yourself and chill out. It takes excess energy to pretend.
Energised: By what you are doing and who you truly enjoy being around, let the good vibes roll.
Notice: The kind of energy you’re giving out – does it give good vibes to the space?
Communicate: Something that you value of that person in your life, keep it simple, keep it real.
Excitement: That you’re alive and well, using your limbs & able to think & reason as best you can.
Challenges will always be there but they can also be teachers and presents in disguise.
Have a Merry Christmas with loads of PRESENCE and make sure
you see in 2012 with loads more laughter, fun and joy.
See you in 2012!
Posted by Dr. Elizabeth Celi on 23rd December, 2011 | Comments | Trackbacks
Tags: depression, presents, divorce, separation, christmas, psychologist
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